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The Most Pointless Job On Earth (And You Can Still Get Fired From It!)

The Most Pointless Job On Earth (And You Can Still Get Fired From It!)

ESPN is reporting — and apparently they're actually reporting it this time — that the Minnesota Timberwolves have hired former Suns guard (and notorious dater of black chicks) Rex Chapman to be the new general manager of the team. He replaces current general manager Jim Stack, a former Northwester...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Draft Star Warming Up In Underoos

Draft Star Warming Up In Underoos

Meanwhile, as Utah's Andrew Bogut talks about the large numbers of big black stiffs, North Carolina guard Marvin Williams — his only real competition for the first overall pick — merely sounds happy to be watching cartoons, drinking Capri-Sun and playing kiss tag....

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Bogut Obsessed With Big, Black Stiffs

Bogut Obsessed With Big, Black Stiffs

NBA Draft is tomorrow night, and Utah center Andrew Bogut is expected to be the first pick by the Milwaukee Bucks. Bogut is not considered a can't-miss prospect, and he thinks it's maybe because he is white. In an interview with Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune, Bogut points out that there are ple...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Mementos Lost To Time

Mementos Lost To Time

ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell answers a question we've always had: What happens to all the merchandise they make for the team that loses in the championship game? Rovell tracks how merchandisers made "2005 NBA Champions" apparel for both the Spurs and the Pistons — it's only the third time ...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

HOORAY!

HOORAY!

The NBA and the Players' Union have agreed to a deal. So come on, fans, let's head on back to the stadium! What could possibly go wrong?...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

China And David Stern: A Perfect Match

China And David Stern: A Perfect Match

Street and Smith's SportsBusiness Journal reports that the NBA is considering merging with the Chinese Basketball Association. They haven't released any possible terms for the league, but we have a few guesses:...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Cuban Still Under Illusion That Someone's Listening

Cuban Still Under Illusion That Someone's Listening

In yet another of his ranting, "I know how best to market the NBA because I got lucky during the dot-com boom" posts, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban babbles on endlessly on how the NBA should market itself. He doesn't have any major ideas — other than the usual "let's put a team in Vegas" and ...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

OK, We Pick, Uh, Jordan, Magic And Bird. Oh, And Ahmad Rashad

OK, We Pick, Uh, Jordan, Magic And Bird. Oh, And Ahmad Rashad

MJ, Bird, Magic To Help Select Olympic Team [Associated Press]...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Guess The Kobe Bryant Activity

Guess The Kobe Bryant Activity

In this photo, Kobe Bryant and his wife are:...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Carmelo Anthony Burnout Watch

Carmelo Anthony Burnout Watch

Everyone is all concerned about LeBron James these days, what with the hiring of his buddies as agents and the weirdship going on in the Cavs' front office. But, as always, it seems to be his buddy Carmelo Anthony who's in a vat of water that is considerably warmer. Anthony's recent run-in involve...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Cuban Hopes To Make NBA Like Nascar — Only Blacker

Cuban Hopes To Make NBA Like Nascar — Only Blacker

Yesterday we praised Mark Cuban for resisting the temptation to write one of those annoying "you can be a SUCCESS!" books. Of course, he'll pretty much sell anything else. In today's Blog Maverick post, Cuban praises the recent idea of putting advertising on NBA players uniforms. As one message b...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Words Fail Us

Words Fail Us

Rodman To Participate In World "Wife-Carrying" Championships In Finland [Fox Sports]...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Entering The Draft Too <em>Late</em>

Entering The Draft Too <em>Late</em>

For all the sturm und drang surrounding minimum age requirements and high schoolers entering the NBA Draft, rarely do people consider the poor saps who should have entered the draft, but didn't. At NBADraft.net, columnist Aran Smith looks at a few dolts who cost themselves millions by remaining in s...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Well, Bush Certainly Understands Black People

Well, Bush Certainly Understands Black People

According to Bloomberg News, the NBA has hired Bush campaign consultant Matthew Dowd to clean up its image and bring in new fans. Dowd, who was Bush's "Chief Strategist" in his successful campaign last November, says he has given the league "some strategic advice," most notably on how to win fans th...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Mark Cuban Gets His Pat Croce On

Mark Cuban Gets His Pat Croce On

One of the many things we admire about Mark Cuban is that he hasn't written one of those Donald Trump, Pat Croce-esque books about "How To Be A Winner" or "YOU Can Be A Success!" Cuban always seems to be honest about the whole thing; he had a hot dot-com, he sold it at the exact right time and he'...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Laughing At Phil Jackson Is Always Fun

Laughing At Phil Jackson Is Always Fun

We're not as crazy about Onion-esque sports comedy site SportsPickle.com as others are. It's nothing against them; it's just that The Onion does what it does, and everyone else is just trying too hard. That said, we had to laugh at this story: Phil Jackson Narrows Coaching Choices Down to Heat, Pi...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Well, There's No Need To Be <em>Smug</em> About It

Well, There's No Need To Be <em>Smug</em> About It

Thank You, Kobe! [ThankYouKobe.com]...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

Yes. He'd Be Just Like Donnie Brasco

Yes. He'd Be Just Like Donnie Brasco

"Shaq's interest in police work is very real," says Miami Beach Police Chief Don De Lucca. "I've always said law enforcement is a calling, and I believe Shaquille has been called. He'd be a great undercover guy."...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

How To Become Famous? Retire

How To Become Famous? Retire

SportsBusiness Journal — which we actually subscribe to, even though it pretty much requires a second mortgage — gives its yearly Q ratings of the popularity of top athletes. (The rating measures how the general public recognizes people. And athletes are people too, apparently.) The site's subscr...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

How The Suns Saved The NBA

How The Suns Saved The NBA

We'll be honest: On the whole, we're not really big fans of self-proclaimed Best American Writer Neal Pollack. (We've always considered him pretty much schtick in a vacuum.) But we must admit, his newly posted Slate piece on the Phoenix Suns is kind of brillant. A longtime Suns fan, he argues tha...

|Tue Jun 18 2013

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