deadspin.com | Albert Burneko

Writer at Deadspin.

A Timely Preview Of The 2019–20 NBA Season, Which Will Begin Any Day Now

Oh. Hello, casual basketball fan. I did not see you there, looking the other way, rightly paying attention to the 2019 World Series instead of the ragged, sloppy opening games of the NBA’s very long and low-key regular season, which I am now hearing actually happened two days ago. Ah. Hm. That can’t...

by Albert Burneko|nba season uh preview i guess

|Thu Oct 24 2019

Anthony Davis Let Me Measure You, Coward

So there’s this thing:...

by Albert Burneko|this is so stupid

|Fri Oct 18 2019

It's Okay To Log Off

So, here’s a tweet....

by Albert Burneko|life lessons

|Wed Oct 09 2019

deadspin.com | Albert BurnekoAdam Silver Issues Statement Meant To Appease Everybody; China Doesn't Buy It

NBA commissioner Adam Silver has released a second public statement regarding the controversy over Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey’s tweet in support of Hong Kong pro-democracy protests, and the Chinese government’s punitive response to the tweet....

by Albert Burneko|great layup forward

|Thu Oct 10 2019

The Chinese Government Is Gamergating Daryl Morey

In summary: On Friday night, Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey tweeted a fairly bland slogan-like expression of support—“Fight for Freedom. Stand with Hong Kong.”—for ongoing protests against the mainland Chinese government’s encroachment on the autonomy of Hong Kong. Because the Rockets a...

by Albert Burneko|the machines

|Tue Oct 15 2019

Jay Gruden Is Going To Get Fired, But He Has To Finish Eating This Giant Pile Of Shit First

Who the hell knows with the Skins. At the organizational level, they’ve spent the past 20 years blasting away at their own dicks with shotguns, and there is no reason to expect they’ll abandon the effort anytime between now and when the seas rise to reclaim Landover. Maybe they will name poor, haple...

by Albert Burneko|jay gruden

|Wed Oct 02 2019

Darren Rovell Squeals At The Sky About The Sanctity Of Endorsements

So California’s Fair Pay to Play Act, a bill permitting athletes at the state’s colleges and universities to seek endorsement deals and make money off the use of their names and likenesses without losing their eligibility or scholarships, became law yesterday. People have concerns!...

by Albert Burneko|darren rovell

|Tue Oct 01 2019

California Pokes The NCAA With A Stick

California Governor Gavin Newsom is expected to sign the state’s Fair Pay to Play Act into law today. That bill, which passed the state senate with overwhelming support earlier this month, forbids the state’s public colleges and universities from revoking the eligibility or scholarships of athletes ...

by Albert Burneko|ncaa

|Mon Sep 30 2019

Add Kyle Kuzma's Ominous Foot Injury To The Pile Of Crabmeat Accumulating Around The Lakers

The word “indefinitely” is one of the most ominous in sports, and never more so than when it’s being attached to news about a very tall guy’s foot. Theoretically it can mean “He could be fine any time now, we just don’t know how soon.” In practice, far more often than not it means “This man’s body h...

by Albert Burneko|los angeles lakers

|Fri Sep 27 2019

The Deadspin 100: NBA Players, Ranked

It’s that time of year again, hoops fans! The NFL season is in full swing, baseball’s playoffs start next week, and the NBA regular season won’t tip off for another month. You know what that means: It’s time to rank the top 100 active NBA players!...

by Albert Burneko|rankings

|Wed Sep 25 2019

Frog-March This Revolting Gymnastics Robot Directly Into The Fires Of Mount Doom

Here is the most disgusting video I’ve watched on the internet in a long time:...

by Albert Burneko|the machines

|Tue Sep 24 2019

It's Not Your Responsibility To Make This Easy For Them

A thing you get familiar with, if you ever write critically about the Democratic Party or about its establishment politicians from any perspective located to their left, is people giving you grief for having failed to support the team. “This is why the Democrats will [lose again in 2020/never win/ne...

by Albert Burneko|deadspin 2020

|Mon Sep 16 2019

Joe Biden Is A Doddering Old Mummy With A Skull Full Of Dumpster Juice

Joe Biden’s politics are bad and he is a bad candidate. Ordinarily that might be the most important measure of a guy running for national office: That his positions, both as stated and as demonstrated by his decades in national government, amount to a tepid, grey, nutrient-free broth of long-discred...

by Albert Burneko|deadspin 2020

|Fri Sep 13 2019

Team USA Embarrasses Itself At FIBA World Cup, Jerry Colangelo Follows Suit

Team USA lost its second straight FIBA World Cup game this morning in China, falling 94-89 to Serbia in a fifth-place consolation game, after yesterday’s embarrassing loss to France eliminated the American team from championship contention. Now the team cannot finish higher than seventh place in the...

by Albert Burneko|fiba world cup 2019

|Thu Sep 12 2019

Cleveland Browns Ban Wrong Guy From Stadium For Beer-Pouring Incident

Pour one out for poor Eric Smith, whom the Cleveland Browns banned for life from their stadium for dumping beer on visiting Tennessee Titans players this past Sunday—even though he was nowhere near the stadium at the time. Just be careful not to get any on anybody, or the Browns will have some rando...

by Albert Burneko|lolbrowns

|Wed Sep 11 2019

Maybe You Just Like Watching Baseball Games

FiveThirtyEight, Nate Silver’s math blog, published an article by Travis Sawchik yesterday under the headline “Do We Even Need Minor League Baseball?” In the piece, Sawchik argues that advancements in technology and data analysis have made both the discernment of genuine major-league baseball talent...

by Albert Burneko|the machines

|Tue Sep 10 2019

David Brooks Explores The Reaches Of Pure Mind

Our old pal Alex Pareene has it right, of course: The New York Times, despite its pose as the one universal press outlet of humankind, ultimately is for a very narrowly defined class of East Coast rich people....

by Albert Burneko|david brooks

|Fri Sep 06 2019

Dan Snyder Actually Good At Owning An NFL Team, Says Direct Competitor, Presumably While Snickering

The upcoming NFL season will be the 20th since Dan Snyder purchased the Washington Redskins from the estate of Jack Kent Cooke in May of 1999. To mark the anniversary, the Washington Post has a state-of-the-franchise story up today, sort of a report card for Snyder’s first two cartoonishly dysfuncti...

by Albert Burneko|dan snyder

|Tue Sep 03 2019

We're The Staff Of Deadspin. Let's Chat!

The week’s all but blogged out. We’re down below in the comments, hanging out and waiting for your questions. Ask us stuff, and we will answer it! Update: We’re done!...

by Albert Burneko|chatspin

|Fri Aug 23 2019

deadspin.com | Albert BurnekoAre The Cleveland Browns The Model NFL Franchise Of The Future? A Very Short Debate

No....

by Albert Burneko|deadspin.com | Albert Burnekovery short debates

|Wed Aug 21 2019

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