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05/31/2012 - Your Scripps National Spelling Bee Live Blog 05/31/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Thrash 05/31/2012 - Now A New York TV Station Thinks The Islanders Are Playing The Kings In The Stanley Cup Finals 05/31/2012 - Fan Sues Pittsburgh Penguins For Sending Him Too Many Text Messages 05/31/2012 - Seriously, Cheer Up, Snow White. <i>Snow White and the Huntsman</i>, Reviewed.05/31/2012 - Terry Francona Apologizes For Some Reason, Says That Towel Photo Was "Pretty In Jest"05/31/2012 - How Two Rock DJs Rescued Boston Sports Talk Radio From Crazy Old People 05/31/2012 - The Joe Paterno Tribute Song The World Has Been Waiting For 05/31/2012 - Chan Ho Park Is Bad At Rapping, Good At Poking Himself In The Eye 05/31/2012 - Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever 05/31/2012 - How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass 05/31/2012 - Was This (Presumably Yankees) Fan Announcing Plans To Divorce His Wife On-Camera At Last Night's Game?05/31/2012 - I'll Have Another Barely Escapes Assassin Horse (Shadowy Steinbrenner Cabal Update!)05/31/2012 - ESPN Misspells Simple Word In Spelling Bee Graphic 05/31/2012 - Rafael Nadal Is Neurotic About Everything (Including Ham)05/31/2012 - Hawk Harrelson Still Has A Headache After His On-Air Meltdown Yesterday 05/31/2012 - Break Out The Photoshop, It's Lee Corso On A Big Inflatable Duckie!05/31/2012 - Rajon Rondo Is Beautiful And Hopelessly Alone And Playing Fuck-You Basketball 05/31/2012 - Curt Schilling Blames Government For Pointing Out That 38 Studios Was Broke 05/31/2012 - Vanderbilt Football Coach Will Not Hire Assistants Until He's Seen What Their Wives Look Like 05/31/2012 - Fifth-Tier Amateur Soccer Club Beats Portland Timbers In Biggest U.S. Open Cup Upset Ever 05/31/2012 - Another Day, Another Umpire On A Power Trip 05/31/2012 - Cops Take Down Pitch Invader With A Tackle Worthy Of Drawing A Yellow Card 05/31/2012 - Phillies Fan Goes Knuckle-Deep 05/31/2012 - Don Cherry Picks The Kings To Win The Cup Because They Have Fewer European Players 05/31/2012 - The Official Bobcats Draft Lottery Party Was A Sad, Sad Time 05/31/2012 - The 49ers Claim They Never Had Any Interest In Peyton Manning 05/31/2012 - 23 Percent Of All <em>SportsCenter</em> Programming Last Week Was Devoted To The Miami Heat 05/31/2012 - Viggo Mortensen Almost Got Kicked Out Of Dulles Airport For Cheering His Favorite Soccer Team 05/31/2012 - Rex Ryan: New Jersey Devils Fan 05/31/2012 - CharlotteBobcats.com Is Not What You Think It Is 05/31/2012 - UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Had Two Female Passengers When He Drunkenly Crashed His $250,000 Bentley 05/31/2012 - The New Orleans Hornets Will Pick First In The 2012 NBA Draft 05/30/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Revue 05/30/2012 - J.J. Redick Tries Really Hard To Avoid Saying Everyone On The Magic Hated Each Other 05/30/2012 - The Roger Clemens Trial Is Still Bizarre And Pointless 05/30/2012 - The Unappreciated Playground Genius Of The San Antonio Spurs 05/30/2012 - BMX Rider Hits Head, "Focuses On Vacuuming"05/30/2012 - No Matter Who Wins, The NBA Draft Lottery Is Fixed 05/30/2012 - Working For ESPN In The Post-Sarah Phillips Era? Have Your Resume Handy.05/30/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Derryl Cousins 05/30/2012 - "Sabermetrics" Was A Word In The Scripps National Spelling Bee 05/30/2012 - Member Of Prestigious Golf Club Scolds Others For Pissing On The Greens, Cavorting In The Nude, Picking Up A Golf Ball With "Naked Butt Cheeks," And Much More 05/30/2012 - More Complaints About The ESPN Radio iPhone App "Money Grab"05/30/2012 - The Struggling Padres' Turnaround Plan? Reunite The 2006 Cardinals Rotation 05/30/2012 - Ken "Hawk" Harrelson Melts Down After White Sox Pitcher Ejected For Throwing Behind A Batter 05/30/2012 - Jason Babin Is Spending His Offseason Messing With Giant, Angry Mammals 05/30/2012 - Report: The Blackhawks Have Suggested That Patrick Kane Seek Counseling 05/30/2012 - This Is The Porn Movie Filmed On-Field At The L.A. Coliseum [SFW]05/30/2012 - Reds Third Baseman Todd Frazier Is Quickly Becoming A Folk Hero 05/30/2012 - Is Someone Chasing Aroldis Chapman?05/30/2012 - It's 2012, And Michael Jordan Has Found Another Way To Humiliate Patrick Ewing 05/30/2012 - George Brett Turns To Twitter To Find Lost Dog 05/30/2012 - Dear Terry Francona, Please Stop Emailing Photos Of Yourself Half-Naked In A Towel To My Girlfriend 05/30/2012 - Mario Balotelli Does Thing 05/30/2012 - Here's The Only Way The Spurs Can Be Beat 05/30/2012 - U.S. Gymnastics Turns Its Back On Chellsie Memmel, Genuine Badass 05/30/2012 - DeShawn Stevenson Has An ATM In His Kitchen, For Some Odd Reason 05/30/2012 - Vin Scully Can Even Make Bobbleheads Seem Cool Again 05/30/2012 - A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us 05/30/2012 - Craig James's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senate Campaign Has Come To An End 05/30/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Dan Bellino 05/29/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Gold 05/29/2012 - Why Did Terrell Owens <i>Really</i> Get Cut By His Indoor Football Team?05/29/2012 - Poor Freddie Freeman Is Going Blind 05/29/2012 - Roy Oswalt Signs With Rangers 05/29/2012 - Japan Is Still Nutso About Hideki Matsui 05/29/2012 - Did Barry Bonds Have A Good Time At The Giants Game Yesterday?05/29/2012 - Tim Tebow's Ex-Teammates Sound Relieved That He's Gone 05/29/2012 - The 6-Year-Old Who Qualified For The National Spelling Bee Might Be An Alien 05/29/2012 - ESPN Radio iPhone App Is "One Of The Sleaziest Corporate Deals I Have Seen"05/29/2012 - The Russians Are Coming: KHL Will Play Regular-Season Games In Brooklyn 05/29/2012 - Here's Why This Guy Looks Better Than You 05/29/2012 - In Most Annoying Twitter Fight Ever, Rick Reilly Defends George Will From Donald Trump 05/29/2012 - Serena Williams Gives Us A French Open Collapse For The Ages 05/29/2012 - "They Had To Apply Electric Shock To Bring Him Back": The Decline Of Boxer David Reid, Hero Of The 1996 Olympics 05/29/2012 - Are You A Current Or Former Make-Up Person At ESPN? Do You Know One? Please Contact Us.05/29/2012 - The 10 Most Insane States In America 05/29/2012 - Jim Leyland Was Righteously Pissed At Some Terrible Umpiring 05/29/2012 - The Dolphins Will Be On <em>Hard Knocks</em>05/29/2012 - "Some People Have To Be Protected Against Themselves": Hockey League Pleads With Players To Stop Boozing During Games 05/29/2012 - World Celebrates As Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay Seriously Injured In Charity Soccer Match 05/29/2012 - Paul Konerko Is An MVP Candidate, And Possibly Psychic 05/29/2012 - Tim Kurkjian, George Will, And Charles Krauthammer Host World's Most Insufferable Lunch 05/29/2012 - More Shitty Boxing News: Motorcycle Crash Leaves Former Champ Paul Williams Paralyzed 05/29/2012 - Saturday's United States-Scotland Friendly Featured A Clash Of Terribly-Performed National Anthems 05/29/2012 - Today Is The Day Craig James Gets Demolished In The Election 05/29/2012 - Chris Bosh Spent Last Night In His Own Little Place Of Bliss 05/28/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Good Disease 05/28/2012 - Tonight LeBron Needs To Eat Some Old Irish Hearts 05/28/2012 - People Call This Rugby Player "Beast." See If You Can Guess Why.05/28/2012 - Carlos Beltrán Does Not Want You Asking Trivia Questions About Him 05/28/2012 - Johnny Tapia Died, Died, Died, Died, Then Died, And Lived Hard In Between 05/28/2012 - Metta World Peace Wishes You All A Happy Labor Day 05/28/2012 - The Odds Ever Favor The Truly Regional NCAA Baseball Bracket 05/28/2012 - Once Again Northwestern Wins Nth Women's Lacrosse Title in N+1 Years 05/28/2012 - The Flaming Lips, Oklahoma City's Only Other Reason For Being, Rewrite 1999 Track to Celebrate Thunder 05/28/2012 - Happy Memorial Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home 05/27/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: We Will Slumber 05/27/2012 - Look Mom, No Hands: Home Run Edition 05/27/2012 - Look At These Fucking Loopsters: Chronicling The Indy 500 05/27/2012 - The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal 05/27/2012 - Lions DT Nick Fairley Was Arrested Again Last Night, This Time On DUI And "Eluding" Police Charges 05/27/2012 - Deadspin's Memorial Day Weekend Barbecue Recipe Swap 05/27/2012 - Naked Man Shot To Death While Eating Another Man's Face 05/27/2012 - Bob Saget Sang The National Anthem At A White Sox Game Yesterday For Some Reason 05/26/2012 - Vanderbilt Pulled Off The Rare Triple Steal 05/26/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Try To Find The Sun 05/26/2012 - Today In Michael Beasley Is An Enormous Weirdo: "I Like To Fart Sometimes And Keep It N A Bottle 2 Smell Later"05/26/2012 - I Had Nothing To Do With Stan Van Gundy Getting Fired, Says Guy Who Had Something To Do With Stan Van Gundy Getting Fired 05/26/2012 - Miami TV Anchor: "The Heat Will Play Either The Celtics Or The 69ers"05/26/2012 - Conor Daly Goes Airborne In Monaco During Today's GP3 Series Race 05/26/2012 - Lacrosse Names Just Keep Getting Sillier And Sillier 05/26/2012 - Your Saturday Afternoon Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/26/2012 - Here Is An Interpretive Dance Featuring Two Dudes, An Inflatable Globe And The Gilded Voice Of Peabo Bryson 05/26/2012 - "Lots Of Dead Or Dying Bodies. Thought I Was In A Morgue": A Woman Tweets Her Way Up Mt. Everest 05/26/2012 - Please Wash Before You Munch: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions 05/26/2012 - College Baseball Player Leaps Clear Over The Wall To Make Ridiculous Game-Saving Catch 05/25/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: The Livin's Easy 05/25/2012 - Pussyblocked By Your College Major!05/25/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Scott Barry 05/25/2012 - The Please-Ignore-Our-Terrible-Movie Club: What It Means When A Movie Isn't Shown To Critics 05/25/2012 - Dead Letters: "Now, I Have To Say, I Did Not Actually Read The Article"05/25/2012 - Jeff Garcia Is Trying To Get Yet Another Spring Football League Together 05/25/2012 - Guy Who Released Bountygate Audio Uncovers New Scandal: James Harrison Loves Justin Bieber, Nickelback 05/25/2012 - Another American Basketball Team Brawled In China, And This Time It Involved Throwing Chairs At Spectators [UPDATE]05/25/2012 - Chris Jericho Nearly Causes International Incident, Gets Suspended After Crumpling A Brazilian Flag 05/25/2012 - Mike Vanderjagt Accused Of Grabbing Middle School Student Who Taunted Him With "Wide Left! Wide Left!"05/25/2012 - <em>Hard Knocks</em> Hopes To Have A Team By The End Of Next Week 05/25/2012 - David Segui Led A Parents' Uprising Against The Shady Coach At Bryce Harper's Junior College 05/25/2012 - J.R. Smith Arrested For Being Black In Miami Beach 05/25/2012 - Indians Reliever Joe Smith Was Forced To Retreat Because No One Summoned Him From The Bullpen 05/25/2012 - The AP Is Gay For Stupid 05/25/2012 - Giancarlo Stanton Nearly Killed His Cutoff Man 05/25/2012 - This Little League Ump's Strike-Three Call Seems Designed To Hurt Little Kids' Feelings 05/25/2012 - This Is The Face Of Pacers Fan Denial 05/25/2012 - There Was A Bona Fide Streaker At Tonight's Phillies-Cardinals Game [UPDATE]05/25/2012 - Snoop Dogg Tebowed After Throwing Out Tonight's First Pitch In Chicago 05/24/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Keep Trying 05/24/2012 - Doug O'Neill, Trainer Of I'll Have Another, Will Be Suspended For Non-I'll Have Another Infraction 05/24/2012 - Former USC Football Recruit Who Served Five Years For Rape Exonerated Because Accuser Admits Attack Never Happened 05/24/2012 - Jon Kitna Loves Being A Math Teacher 05/24/2012 - Bill Murray As FDR! <em>Anchorman 2</em>! Opulent Melancholy! Your Authoritative Rundown Of All The New Movie Trailers 05/24/2012 - Former Yankee Chad Curtis Arrested For Allegedly Touching Female High School Students Inappropriately 05/24/2012 - Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Lays Off Entire Staff 05/24/2012 - Soccer Player Has Cheek Touched, Fakes Own Death, Provokes Red Card 05/24/2012 - Shaq Doesn't Want The Magic GM Job He Wouldn't Have Gotten Anyway 05/24/2012 - The Jets Taunted Tebow By Screaming "Lolo! Lolo!" When He Walked Into The Locker Room Today 05/24/2012 - It's Somehow Getting Worse For U.S. Senate Candidate Craig James 05/24/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Chad Fairchild 05/24/2012 - "Ass Ranger" To "Zoomies": The Complete List Of Things College Athletes Can't Say On Social Media 05/24/2012 - Don't Say "Colt 45" Or "Pearl Necklace": How To Avoid Being Busted By The Facebook Cops Of College Sports 05/24/2012 - Other Lawyers Think Lawyerin' Joe Amendola Is "Absolutely Brilliant," According To Lawyerin' Joe Amendola 05/24/2012 - A K-Leaguer May Have Set The World Record For Fastest-Ever Free Kick Goal 05/24/2012 - Today In Getting To Know The Kings: Reebok Offers An "Alex Kopitar" Shirt 05/24/2012 - Watch This Girl Crush A Red Bull Can Using Only Her Shoulder Blades 05/24/2012 - This Woman Makes Other Women's Dreams Come True 05/24/2012 - Premier League Teams Are Hemorrhaging Money, And TV Revenue Sharing Could Be To Blame 05/24/2012 - This Nun In Field-Level Seats At Yankee Stadium Just Had To Take That Call On Her Flip Phone 05/24/2012 - Would The Steinbrenners Really Sell The Yankees?05/24/2012 - This Brewers Fan Appears To Have Eaten A Lot Of Peanut Butta Jelly In His Time 05/24/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Roll 05/23/2012 - Property Owners Suing Kellen Winslow Jr. For Leaving Behind Shit-Stained House With $133,000 In Damages 05/23/2012 - NBC Bans Rangers And Devils Viewing Parties, Because TV Money Rules All 05/23/2012 - Five And A Half Minutes Of Pro Wrestlers Beating Up Inanimate Objects 05/23/2012 - Hate Hockey? Hate Women? The CBC's Women-Only Stanley Cup Feed Is For You 05/23/2012 - A Thief Broke Into His SUV, So Chad Ochocinco Spent The Day Live-Tweeting The Aftermath 05/23/2012 - Twee's Company! Wes Anderson's Love Story, <em>Moonrise Kingdom</em>, Reviewed.05/23/2012 - Tiger Woods Says He Can Win Tournaments Into His 50s 05/23/2012 - Mike Francesa Says Ike Davis Is Slumping Because Of "Jungle Fever"05/23/2012 - KG: "Philly Fans Are Fair-Weather." <i>Inquirer</i> Writer: "Oh Yeah? Boston's Racist!"05/23/2012 - Attention Twitter: Bills Receiver David Clowney Does Not Have HIV 05/23/2012 - The Birth Of The Magical 1971 Macon High Ironmen, Baseball's Version Of <em>Hoosiers</em>05/23/2012 - Reeves Nelson Files Defamation Suit Over <i>Sports Illustrated</i>'s UCLA Story 05/23/2012 - Here Is A Photo Of A-Rod, Cindy Crawford, And Cindy Crawford's Husband Looking Strange Together 05/23/2012 - Novak Djokovic Signs With Uniqlo 05/23/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Mike Winters 05/23/2012 - Bristolmetrics: Stephen A. Smith Is Slowly Retaking ESPN 05/23/2012 - Seriously, Nobody Wants To Do <i>Hard Knocks</i>05/23/2012 - Union Files Collusion Lawsuit Against NFL, Alleging Secret $123 Million Salary Cap In Uncapped Year 05/23/2012 - Take The 2012 Gawker Media Census, Win An iPad, And <i>Then</i> Resume Your Quest for 3rd Base 05/23/2012 - Roger Goodell (And Nike) Will Not Tolerate The NFL's Epidemic Of Bruised Thighs Anymore 05/23/2012 - Today In Unfortunate Newspaper Typos: "Series Shits To Boston"05/23/2012 - What Did Joe Paterno Know About Jerry Sandusky In 1998? <em>Esquire</em> Unearths Curious New Details From Paterno's Papers 05/23/2012 - Dustin Brown Should Either Be Suspended For Zero Games Or For All The Games 05/23/2012 - The Best Shooters In The NBA, And Why Field Goal Percentage Can't Identify Them 05/23/2012 - The Rays' Luke Scott And Carlos Peña Ask: Are You Not Entertained?05/23/2012 - Donald Driver Wins <em>Dancing With The Stars</em>, Earns 15-Yard Penalty For Excessive Celebration 05/23/2012 - A Philly Cop Watches A Mother's Day Street Brawl For Us: "This Can Turn Into A Murder In 2.2 Seconds"05/22/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Rattle 05/22/2012 - Memorial Tournament Means Chance To Brawl For High School Baseball Teams In Chicago [UPDATED]05/22/2012 - I'll Have Another's Trainer Talks Strategy With His Horse, But Quietly, So Other Horses Don't Overhear 05/22/2012 - Kim Clijsters Is Retiring (Again)05/22/2012 - Poor Ump Gets Hit In The Nuts, And All The Men At Chase Field Cross Their Legs 05/22/2012 - Will Smith, We've Missed You. <i>Men in Black 3</i>, Reviewed.05/22/2012 - The NFL Wins, Because The NFL Always Wins 05/22/2012 - Tracy McGrady Does A Chinese Beer Commercial 05/22/2012 - Where In The World Was Chuck Knoblauch This Weekend?05/22/2012 - This Guy Does More Before 8 AM Than You Do All Day 05/22/2012 - The Pro Bowl May Survive For Another Year Of Uselessness By Moving To New Orleans 05/22/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Brian Runge 05/22/2012 - The Phillies Had Extra Security In Right Field For Bryce Harper Last Night 05/22/2012 - What's Duke "Fuck List" Author Karen Owen Up To These Days? Let's Find Out!05/22/2012 - Jimmy Rollins Goes On Paternity Leave Exactly Nine Months After Straining Groin. Hmmm.05/22/2012 - Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre Spent Last Night's Game Talking Trash 05/22/2012 - That Oregon Prom Scandal Has Nike's Waffle-Soled Footprints All Over It 05/22/2012 - Alleged Alabama Teabagger Arraigned, Pleads Not Guilty 05/22/2012 - Claude Giroux Played Beer Pong With Casts On Both Wrists 05/22/2012 - The L.A. Kings Created A Handy Infographic So The City's Media Will Know Who They Are 05/22/2012 - Aroldis Chapman Arrested Outside Columbus For Allegedly Driving 93 MPH On A Suspended License 05/22/2012 - Doc Emrick Reads Promo For MLS, Is Unable To Avoid Ripping Soccer Players For Diving 05/22/2012 - Rickie Weeks Would Have Tried To Turn A Double Play, But He Forgot 05/22/2012 - TNT's Slow Zoom On Mitch Kupchak's Face In The Final Minutes Of The Lakers' Season Was Sadistic 05/22/2012 - How Readable Are Bill Simmons, Jason Whitlock, Rick Reilly, And Other Sportswriters? Science Investigates 05/22/2012 - Yankee Fans Think The Team's Play Of Late Has Been For The Birds 05/22/2012 - If Beast Mode Exists In Basketball, Russell Westbrook Entered It 05/22/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Shake 05/21/2012 - The Gibb Brother Who Wasn't In The Bee Gees Died Years Ago Of "Fart Failure," Reporter Says 05/21/2012 - Here Are The Sean Avery Semi-Nude Modeling Photos You Didn't Know You Wanted 05/21/2012 - Guy In Underwear Gets Head-Stomped By Three Men, Apparently Near Petco Park [UPDATED]05/21/2012 - Tea Party Leader George Rodriguez Endorses Craig James, According To Craig James, Who Was Not Endorsed By Tea Party Leader George Rodriguez 05/21/2012 - Eddie Vedder, Chris Chelios, And Kerry Wood Hung Out To Sing Karaoke On Sunday 05/21/2012 - LaDainian Tomlinson No Longer 95 Percent Retired, Is Now 96 Percent Retired 05/21/2012 - Local Man Throws Football 05/21/2012 - Stan Van Gundy Fired, Dwight Howard Tents Fingers And Cackles 05/21/2012 - How A Career Ends: Ron Darling Celebrated His 35th Birthday By Getting Cut And Being Left Alone At Home 05/21/2012 - Former WVU Head Football Coach Bill Stewart Has Died Of A Heart Attack 05/21/2012 - In 2010 And 2011, Craig James Made More Than $700,000 Total For Being Shitty On ESPN/ABC 05/21/2012 - Jose Canseco Is Striking Out With The Young Women Who Work At A Restaurant In Worcester, Mass., Too 05/21/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Gary Cederstrom 05/21/2012 - "A Drunk Chuck Knoblauch Hit On Us On The G Train"05/21/2012 - Guy With Weird Dating Survey Defends His Data Collection Methods 05/21/2012 - The Los Angeles Media Market Continues To Not Know The L.A. Kings Play Hockey 05/21/2012 - "Douche McGee" Got His (Or Her) Day In The Sun On SPEED 05/21/2012 - This Is One Gorgeous KKK Baseball Bat, But It's Still A KKK Baseball Bat 05/21/2012 - Rick Reilly Has Golf Jokes For You Because Rick Reilly Is Everything Horrible About ESPN 05/21/2012 - Livan Hernandez Showers Abuse On Rays Ballboy For Booting Grounder 05/21/2012 - Antonio Cromartie Can't Stop Sexing Ladies, Apparently Married A Crazy One 05/21/2012 - In Olympic Hurdles Tune-Up, Organizers Forget To Put Enough Hurdles On The Track 05/21/2012 - Listen To The Real Jim Everett Berate Fake Jim Rome 05/21/2012 - Sam Fuld Is A Dapper Gent 05/20/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Have A Few Drinks 05/20/2012 - Osi Umenyiora Falls <i>Just</i> Shy Of Goal To Get Lawrence Taylor His Super Bowl Ring Back 05/20/2012 - Pat Burrell Not Only Danced Shirtless At A Philly Bar, He Left No Tip On A $158 Tab [UPDATED]05/20/2012 - Stephen Strasburg and Some Other Guy Hit Back-To-Back Home Runs 05/20/2012 - LeBron's Choice Of Pre-Game Reading Material? <em>The Hunger Games</em>05/20/2012 - "Like A Giant Scoop It Caught Him Up": The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions 05/20/2012 - LeBron James Cattily Responds To Lance Stephenson's Choke Gesture 05/20/2012 - Indian Cricket Squad Celebrates Backdoor Playoff Berth With Terrifying Homage To Goatse 05/20/2012 - Pablo Sandoval Pies CSN Bay Area's Jaymee Sire In The Face 05/20/2012 - Your Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/20/2012 - "It's Doug, Not Dude": Philly Scribe Kicked Out Of Minor League Complex Twice For Trying To Watch Ryan Howard Rehab 05/20/2012 - Rex Ryan Gives Miami Dolphins Fans His Blessing On Their Wedding Day 05/20/2012 - Watch Shaq Mug For The Cameras With The World's Smallest Primate 05/20/2012 - A Sold Out Citi Field Plays Host To An Exercise In Futility Today (And The Mets Are In Toronto)05/20/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Magic In The Night 05/19/2012 - I'll Have Another Wins Preakness, Forcing All Of Us To Watch The Belmont Stakes In Three Weeks 05/19/2012 - Twitter Aficionado Osi Umenyiora Promises To Buy Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl Ring If He Gets One Million Followers 05/19/2012 - Today In Bizarrely-Priced Tickets From Wisconsin Police: Softball Coach Gets $177 Citation For Cursing At Players 05/19/2012 - UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Arrested For DUI, Wrecks His Bentley [UPDATED]05/19/2012 - Wes Welker Drops The Contract Negotiations Have "Gotten Worse" Routine 05/19/2012 - Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/19/2012 - Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably 05/19/2012 - Youth Lax-ers Have Absurd Bench Clearing Brawl In Front Of Tens Of People 05/19/2012 - Was Pat Burrell Dancing Shirtless In A Philly Bar Last Night?05/19/2012 - Gangrenous, Flesh-Eating Penis Infection Results In Most Harrowing Paragraph Ever 05/19/2012 - High School Ace Strikes Out Five—<i>In One Inning</i>05/19/2012 - Calvin Johnson Goes Yard At Comerica Park 05/18/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Give Me One Reason 05/18/2012 - Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners 05/18/2012 - LaDainian Tomlinson Is "95 Percent Retired"05/18/2012 - This Is The Scorecard For What's Believed To Be The Lowest Round Of Golf Ever Played 05/18/2012 - Dead Letters: You Crossed A Major Line This Week, Canine Hitler 05/18/2012 - "The Kings Have The Ball": More Hockey Coverage From Los Angeles 05/18/2012 - Oh Good, Curt Schilling's Company Is Going To Get More Help From The State 05/18/2012 - The Official Deadspin Youth T-Ball League Called Its Own Shots, Staged A Staring Contest 05/18/2012 - Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away 05/18/2012 - Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout 05/18/2012 - Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!05/18/2012 - Newspaper Reporter Fired For Leaving In Bit About "Coach's Bullshit And Laziness"05/18/2012 - Big 12, SEC Join Forces For Transparently Money-Grubbing New Year's Day Bowl 05/18/2012 - Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>05/18/2012 - PR Guy Who Offered Exclusive Pics Of Some Player And His Super Bowl Ring Wants Us To "Get A Grip And Obviously A Life!!!"05/18/2012 - Ohio State Self-Reports 46 Violations, But Really, Who Gives A Shit?05/18/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Dana DeMuth 05/18/2012 - The Los Angeles Kings Are A Hotter Ticket Than The Clippers 05/18/2012 - The Dadspin Guide To Feeding A Baby 05/18/2012 - It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan 05/18/2012 - MLB Suspends Umpire Bob Davidson For "Repeated Violations Of Situation Handling Standards"05/18/2012 - What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano 05/18/2012 - Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno 05/18/2012 - Women's Professional Soccer Is Officially Dead 05/18/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Gary Darling 05/18/2012 - Kerry Wood Is Retiring 05/18/2012 - Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay 05/18/2012 - Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony 05/18/2012 - Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate 05/18/2012 - Here's Every Single Pitch Of Jose Canseco's Worcester Tornadoes Debut (Spoiler: It Didn't Go Well)05/18/2012 - Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."05/18/2012 - Here's Another "Call Me Maybe" Parody, But This One's About Tom Brady 05/17/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Alone And Forsaken 05/17/2012 - Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Can't Pay Employees, Bounced A Check To The State 05/17/2012 - Bobcats Facebook Poll Goes Poorly 05/17/2012 - Glory Days: When I Was A Semipro Football Player, A Broadcaster Once Said I "Might Be Bionic"05/17/2012 - Deconstructing Jimmy Johnson's Commercial For Medically Ineffective Penis Pills 05/17/2012 - Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"05/17/2012 - Here You Go, PR Guy For Some Player NFL Teams No Longer Want 05/17/2012 - Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]05/17/2012 - Why Can't Michael Bay Make Stoopid Movies Like This? <i>Battleship</i>, Reviewed.05/17/2012 - No, NPR Veteran Nina Totenberg Was Not Removed From The Roger Clemens Trial For Eating Potato Chips 05/17/2012 - Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."05/17/2012 - The Spunky Genius Of Twitter's @LAKings, The Second-Biggest Surprise Of The Playoffs 05/17/2012 - What Kind Of Politics Writer Can't Even Use A Sports Metaphor Properly? Most Of Them, Actually.05/17/2012 - Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation 05/17/2012 - Former ECU Running Back Arrested After Driving Through A Cemetery 05/17/2012 - Under Attack From Laurie Fine's Lawsuit, ESPN Releases Full Audiotape And Accuser Mike Lang Affirms His Statements 05/17/2012 - A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension 05/17/2012 - Meet The Boxing Coach Whose Specialty Is Training "A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Wall Street Guys"05/17/2012 - For Some Reason, You Can Fly From New York To Newark For Saturday's Devils-Rangers Game 05/17/2012 - You Will Eat 30 Bowls Of Cereal A Day (And 11 Other Things You Should Know Before Going To College)05/17/2012 - Hookers Aren't Free, So Lawrence Taylor Is Auctioning Off One Of His Super Bowl Rings 05/17/2012 - Eric Hassli's Stoppage Time Volley Proved The Existence Of A Canadian Rocket Program 05/17/2012 - Breaking: French Photographer's Life Filled With More Beautiful Women Than Yours 05/17/2012 - Yes, Chicago's ABC Affiliate Identified Metta World Peace As "Lakers Idiot"05/17/2012 - Derrick Rose Is Now Getting Around With A Walker 05/17/2012 - Alex Gordon Is The Best Advertisement For Wearing A Cup 05/17/2012 - Acrobatic Rays Fan Does Header Onto The Field, But Gets The Foul Ball 05/17/2012 - TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off 05/17/2012 - This Walk-Off Steal Of Home Required Every Bodily Contortion You Can Imagine 05/17/2012 - John Tortorella Has Had Just About Enough Of Your Damn Questions 05/17/2012 - Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record 05/17/2012 - Rays Infielder Will Rhymes Passed Out After Being Hit By A Pitch Tonight [UPDATE]05/17/2012 - This Randomly Awesome Manifesto Might Be The Horse_ebooks Of Sports 05/17/2012 - In Attempting To Throw Tonight's Rangers First Pitch, Gary Sinise Showed Lieutenant Dan Has No Arm, Either 05/16/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Cook Out 05/16/2012 - Notre Dame LB Arrested At House Party Allegedly Told Cop, "My People Will Get You"05/16/2012 - Craig James Didn't Hire A PR Firm During The Mike Leach Controversy, Says Craig James, Who Hired A PR Firm During The Mike Leach Controversy 05/16/2012 - What Does Buck Showalter Think Is The Hardest Job In Baseball?05/16/2012 - These "Rangers Vs. Nets" Tickets For Tonight Look Legit 05/16/2012 - Sources: ESPN's Charissa Thompson Will Be The Next Co-Host Of The Michelle Beadle-Less <em>SportsNation</em>05/16/2012 - <em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy 05/16/2012 - Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)05/16/2012 - People Actually Attend Baseball Game In Pittsburgh, Security Guard Loses Finger, Cop Injures Shoulder Slapping Woman 05/16/2012 - Laurie Fine Goes To A Castle To Tell The World She Didn't Hump The Ball Boy (Among Other Things)05/16/2012 - Curt Schilling Wants A Government Bailout 05/16/2012 - Minor League Home Run Derby To Be Held On Flight Deck Of Old Aircraft Carrier 05/16/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Bill Miller 05/16/2012 - The Angels Are Getting Desperate 05/16/2012 - Sean Payton Is The Prophet Elijah 05/16/2012 - 24-Year-Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates To Complete A Creepy Survey Afterward 05/16/2012 - Dock Ellis: Beyond LSD 05/16/2012 - How I Threw My Hair-Perm Superfly Spitball, By Dock Ellis: A New Animated Short 05/16/2012 - What Dock Ellis Taught Me About Drugs, Spitballs, Hair Curlers, Office Culture, Race, And America 05/16/2012 - Skechers Will Pay $40M To Settle A Lawsuit About Its Goofy-Looking Shoes That Were Supposed To Help People Lose Weight 05/16/2012 - Outtakes From My Four Hours With Justin Bieber, The Swaggiest Of Swaggy Bros 05/16/2012 - The Padres And Nationals Were Ready To Resume Play, But Three Of The Umpires Were Nowhere To Be Found 05/16/2012 - Laurie Fine To File Libel Suit Against ESPN 05/16/2012 - Shaq beat Chuck In TNT's <em>Inside The NBA</em> Shirt-Off Thanks To Fake, Painted-On Abs 05/16/2012 - Win This Auction And Brett Favre Will Play Ball With Your Young Child (Shipping And Handling Not Included)05/16/2012 - The Los Angeles Galaxy Was Extremely Happy To Visit The White House 05/16/2012 - Here Is A Video Of Charles Barkley Using A Shake Weight In Extremely Slow Motion 05/16/2012 - Umpire Bill Miller Has Bad Night, Gets Hit First By Brett Lawrie's Helmet And Then A Blue Jays Fan's Beer 05/16/2012 - Porn Star Stoya Watches A Stripper Fight For Us: "Wrestling Is More Entertaining With Sparkly Garments"05/16/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Still Raining 05/15/2012 - Former NBA Coach Plagiarizes Spurs Message Board For ESPN.com Column 05/15/2012 - Somehow, All But Two Jurors At The Roger Clemens Perjury Trial Have Stayed Awake 05/15/2012 - Rick Reilly's Auto-Response To Reader Email Is More Clever Than Rick Reilly's Actual Column 05/15/2012 - Is Not Good For Me. <em>The Dictator</em>, Reviewed.05/15/2012 - Stephen Strasburg Got Icy Hot On His Balls Today 05/15/2012 - New York Sports-Radio Boob Mike Francesa Thinks It "Should Be Against The Law" For Athletes And Media People To Tweet 05/15/2012 - Curt Schilling's Video Game Company Might Cost Taxpayers $112 Million (Update)05/15/2012 - Carlos Lee Couldn't Get To The Ball, So He Tackled An Umpire Instead 05/15/2012 - Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please 05/15/2012 - Small Girl Runs Big Company: Meet The Charmingly Bold Bianca Caampued 05/15/2012 - Bob Davidson's Ejection Of Charlie Manuel Today Featured More F-Bombs Than A Tarantino Film 05/15/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Alfonso Marquez 05/15/2012 - Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said Goodbye To The Seventh-Seeded, 36-30 Knicks With A Three-Minute Montage 05/15/2012 - Which Sport Has The Most Racists?05/15/2012 - Clumsy Dodgers Fan Drops Foul Ball, Falls Onto Field, Knocks Over Beer 05/15/2012 - Jason Peters Tore His Achilles In The Saddest Way Possible 05/15/2012 - Devils Launch "Don't Sell Tickets To Rangers Fans" Campaign 05/15/2012 - Manny Pacquiao Says Gay Marriage Would Be Like "The Days Of Sodom and Gomorrah"05/15/2012 - David Brooks Has A New Phony Sociological Category: "ESPN Man"05/15/2012 - ESPN's Going To Produce A Bunch More <em>30 For 30</em> Films 05/15/2012 - This Photo Of Troy Tulowitzki And The Rockies' Trainer Is Not What It Looks Like 05/15/2012 - Some Poor Bastard's Cell Phone Went Off During John Tortorella's Press Conference, And Torts Was Not Happy 05/15/2012 - Los Angeles's Favorite Hockey Team Is A Basketball Team 05/15/2012 - Boston's Game Two Loss Left This Celtics Fan Looking For Something To Lick 05/15/2012 - NHL Network Credits Brad Richards With Giving "2 Shits" In Rangers' Win Over Devils 05/14/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Sporting Chance 05/14/2012 - Torii Hunter Goes On Restricted List For Personal Reasons After Son Charged With Sexual Assault 05/14/2012 - Drew Sharp Responds To A Reader: "Does The Little Baby Need A Pacifier?"05/14/2012 - Rex Ryan Is Not (As) Fat 05/14/2012 - Who Was Behind @TVSportsratings, The Anonymous Twitter Account Hated By Sports TV Executives?05/14/2012 - Canadian Lacrosse Brawl Is Best Lacrosse Brawl 05/14/2012 - Orel Hershiser Changes His Mind About Auctioning Baseball From Scoreless Innings Streak 05/14/2012 - Vikings Owner Would Like To Thank The Fans, Who Will Pay For More Than Half Of His New Stadium 05/14/2012 - MLB Fires Arbitrator Shyam Das, Days After A Second Player Successfully Uses The Ryan Braun Defense 05/14/2012 - Undrafted NFL Rookie Andrew Sweat Is Making A Mistake By Going To Law School [UPDATE]05/14/2012 - Carlos Tevez Happily Wields "R.I.P. Fergie" Sign At Man City's Parade 05/14/2012 - Bernie Fine's Wife Is Making A "Major Announcement" On Wednesday In A Castle Outside Syracuse 05/14/2012 - This Umpire Might Have The Most Exaggerated Strike-Three Call Of All Time 05/14/2012 - Nightclub Bouncer Says University of Cincinnati Basketball Players Kicked The Shit Out Of Him 05/14/2012 - The Capitals Are A Team Without A Coach Or A Plan 05/14/2012 - Noted Horndog Erik Kuselias Has Been Reassigned From His Golf Channel Show 05/14/2012 - Yet Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Craig James Is A Douche"05/14/2012 - Sportswriter Frank Deford Is Taking Your Questions In The Comments Now 05/14/2012 - Cops Looking Into "White Powder" Found At ESPN Headquarters [UPDATE]05/14/2012 - Jered Weaver Sings Along To "Hit The Road Jack" After Being Pulled From Game 05/14/2012 - David Stern Doesn't Really Give A Shit About Flopping 05/14/2012 - Fergie's Got A Feeling Tonight's Gonna Be A Bad Night 05/13/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Take Care 05/13/2012 - Here's The Joey Barton Meltdown From Today's Stunning Manchester City Comeback 05/13/2012 - Major League Baseball Swings And Misses Again, Shuts Down "Atlanta Barves" T-Shirt Operation 05/13/2012 - Reports: DeSean Jackson Pulled Over By Pennsylvania State Trooper Before Charity Appearance Saturday Morning 05/13/2012 - Stephon Marbury Statue Officially Unveiled In China, Dennis Rodman Gives Dedication Speech 05/13/2012 - Osi Umenyiora Wishes "Twitter Gangster" LeSean McCoy A Happy Mother's Day...On Twitter 05/13/2012 - Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/13/2012 - Join Us For A Live Chat With Frank Deford At 11:30 a.m. Tomorrow 05/13/2012 - Manchester City Scores Two Goals In Added Time Against QPR To Snag EPL Title From Manchester United 05/13/2012 - Happy Mother's Day, Here Are Some Dongs: The Week In Unintentional Dongs 05/13/2012 - Steve Bartman's True Identity Revealed: He's Al Bundy 05/13/2012 - JaVale McGee Gave Us The Going-Away Present Of Trying To Dunk His Own Missed Free Throw 05/13/2012 - Andy Pettitte Makes First Start Since Retiring Before The Original Roger Clemens Perjury Trial 05/13/2012 - Dan Majerle Caught An Automatic Double At Tonight's Diamondbacks Game 05/12/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: At The Four Winds Bar 05/12/2012 - Harris English Tee Shot Drills TPC Sawgrass Volunteer 05/12/2012 - If The Lakers Lose Tonight Mike Brown Will Be Out Of A Job, Says Lakers Vice President (Magic Johnson)05/12/2012 - Three Arkansas Football Players Charged With Burglary In Harebrained Scam For The Ages 05/12/2012 - Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner, Kicked Out Of Alabama Softball Game 05/12/2012 - LeBron James Wins MVP, Says Championship Is "All That Matters To Me." The Rest Of The World: "Rings"05/12/2012 - USHL Goalie Stephon Williams Makes Barehanded Save 05/12/2012 - Here Is Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/12/2012 - Brewers Closer John Axford Blows Save, Endears Himself To Media Anyway 05/12/2012 - Josh Hamilton Is Hitting Baseballs Like Crazy 05/12/2012 - This Is Quite Possibly The Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Ever 05/12/2012 - Bryce Harper Needed 10 Stitches After Hitting Himself In The Face With His Bat 05/11/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Here Today 05/11/2012 - An Official Deadspin Youth T-Ball League Player Went Golfing On His Down Time, Too 05/11/2012 - Dead Letters: Maurkice Pouncey Stole My Buddy's Trashcan (Plus: Lots And Lots Of Hate Mail!)05/11/2012 - Azerbaijan's Stinky Olympic Wrestling Team Is Sponsored By Febreze 05/11/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Doug Eddings 05/11/2012 - Chris "Birdman" Andersen Is The Victim Of An Extortion Attempt, His Lawyer Says 05/11/2012 - Don Nelson Finally Will Graduate From College This Weekend 05/11/2012 - Cockblocked By A Washing Machine!05/11/2012 - Sacha Baron Cohen Doesn't Know You're Tired of Him 05/11/2012 - Terrell Owens Says He Isn't A Deadbeat Dad, Just A Dad With A Lot Less Money 05/11/2012 - Report: Michelle Beadle Is Leaving ESPN For NBC 05/11/2012 - Accomplished Female Jockey Photographed Naked Atop A Horse, Of Course 05/11/2012 - Rookie Rangers Reliever Robbie Ross Reveals Wrong Regalia, Receives Ridicule 05/11/2012 - Here Are The Best Entries In Our Drunk, Sulking Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest 05/11/2012 - Christian School Forfeits State Championship Game Rather Than Compete Against Player Who Is Black*05/11/2012 - The USFL Is Making A Comeback, Will Be Nothing Like The Old USFL 05/11/2012 - Everything You Need To Know About Sarah Phillips, Former ESPN Columnist And Social-Media Scammer 05/11/2012 - Thunder PA Announcer Arrested And Fired After He Allegedly Forced Kids To Watch Him Masturbate 05/11/2012 - What Josh Beckett Does On His Off Days Stays Between Josh Beckett And His Off Days 05/11/2012 - Kenneth Faried Appeared To Be Broken After Being Flagrantly Fouled By Kobe Bryant 05/11/2012 - It Was "Anal Kid Time" At Yankee Stadium Tonight 05/10/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Over And Over 05/10/2012 - Minnesota Legislature Votes To Hand Over $800 Million So Shitty Football Team Can Build Shitty New Stadium 05/10/2012 - Coach Eric Taylor Wants To Ask You Something 05/10/2012 - Mike Rizzo Is Done Talking About Cole Hamels, Unless You Ask Him Again 05/10/2012 - A Tour Of Sports' Least-Coveted Auction Items 05/10/2012 - Rob Ryan Would Like To Show You His Beat-Up Old Conversion Van 05/10/2012 - The Miami Dolphins Are Looking For A Few Good Grease Porters 05/10/2012 - This Gay Marriage Headline Could Have Used Another Proofreader 05/10/2012 - Miami Heat Apologize For "Extinguishing" Amar'e Stoudamire 05/10/2012 - Dwight Howard's Rehab Is Basically Him Limping Around Beverly Hills With His Socks Pulled Up To His Neck 05/10/2012 - Can You Beat This Entry In Our Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest?05/10/2012 - Oil Can Boyd Calls Wade Boggs A Racist; Boggs Responds By Calling Boyd "A Delusional Drug Addict"05/10/2012 - Summer Is The Goddamn Worst 05/10/2012 - MLB Plans To Ban That Stupid Fake-To-Third, Throw-To-First Pickoff Move 05/10/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Angel Campos 05/10/2012 - Report: Chris "Birdman" Andersen's Home Is Target Of Kiddie-Porn Investigation [UPDATE]05/10/2012 - Lifelong Yankees Fan Tim Tebow Will Rename His Dog "Bronx"05/10/2012 - Orioles Employ Extra Security In Futile Attempt To End Streaking Epidemic 05/10/2012 - Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony 05/10/2012 - Iranian Cartoonist Gets 25 Lashes For Drawing Politician As Soccer Player 05/10/2012 - Vernon And Vontae Davis's Younger Brother Charged With Murdering A Man With A Claw Hammer 05/10/2012 - Sun Shines On The Dog's Ass That Is Stephen A. Smith, As Technical Glitch Renders Him Unable To Hear Skip Bayless 05/10/2012 - Brian Downing, Krystal Restaurant Named In "Alabama Teabagger" Lawsuit 05/10/2012 - After Amar'e Stoudemire Fouled Out, He Was Gonna Help Shane Battier Up, But ... Nah 05/10/2012 - Jon Hamm To Star In That Disney Movie About Those Pitchers From India The Pirates Signed 05/10/2012 - Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore 05/10/2012 - The Heat PA Guy Announced Amar'e Stoudemire Fouling Out As "He Has Been Extinguished From The Game"05/09/2012 - CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails 05/09/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Throw The Switch 05/09/2012 - Cubs Ballgirl Caught On Camera Writing Note Was Rejecting Fan's Request For Her Phone Number 05/09/2012 - Before Steve Kerr Sends 19-Year-Old Players Back To College, He Should Try Some Academic Research Himself 05/09/2012 - Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Anybody But Craig James For Senator"05/09/2012 - The Harvard Baseball Lip-Synch Video That's Sweeping The Nation 05/09/2012 - An Unassisted Triple Play Is So Easy A 6-Year-Old Can Do It 05/09/2012 - Fenway Park Public Address Announcer Killed In Car Accident 05/09/2012 - Greg Oden Says He Became An Alcoholic, Got Offers To Work In Porn 05/09/2012 - A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012 05/09/2012 - Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)05/09/2012 - Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.05/09/2012 - "Singer Michael Bolton Hits Hole-In-One," Writes Man Who Hired Sarah Phillips 05/09/2012 - Everybody Loved Grantland 05/09/2012 - Craig James's Senate Campaign Nears Its Sad, Inevitable Conclusion 05/09/2012 - A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk 05/09/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Brian Knight 05/09/2012 - For Sale: Bobby Petrino's Wrecked Motorcycle, Needs Some Repair 05/09/2012 - Last Night JaVale McGee Did A Lot Of Great Things, At Least One Bad Thing, And A Very Strange Thing 05/09/2012 - Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?05/09/2012 - Rajon Rondo Angrily Confronts TNT Cameraman For Filming Him As He Stood There 05/09/2012 - Vladimir Putin's Game-Winning Goal Against The "Legends Of Russia" Was So Obvious 05/09/2012 - Padres Fan Catches Foul Ball In Beer Cup, Chugs 05/09/2012 - Despite Hitting Four Home Runs, Josh Hamilton Could Not Secure A Majority Of The Player Of The Game Vote 05/09/2012 - Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Fire Extinguisher" More Times Than "Kobe Bryant" Last Week 05/09/2012 - Mike Leach Appears To Have Autographed A Copy Of His Book With A "Craig James Killed Five Hookers" Reference 05/09/2012 - What This Street Fight Between A Cross-Dressing Hooker And A John Can Teach You About Life 05/08/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: In My Head 05/08/2012 - How An Ohio State Blog's Reporting Led To The Arrest Of A Fan Who's A Convicted Sex Offender 05/08/2012 - Shawn Kemp Does Shakespeare 05/08/2012 - Apparently, Popeye Jones's Son Is One Hell Of A Hockey Player 05/08/2012 - Now Prosecutors In The Jerry Sandusky Case Have Inadvertently Released The Names Of The Alleged Victims 05/08/2012 - Merril Hoge's Little Tie Is Adorable 05/08/2012 - Ozzie Guillen Tells Reporter To "Fucking Grow Up" For Asking About Fidel Castro 05/08/2012 - This Home Run Ball Painfully Defied The Laws Of Physics 05/08/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Jim Joyce 05/08/2012 - How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)05/08/2012 - The Fruitless Search For Decent Facial Recognition Porn Software 05/08/2012 - Massive Cycling Crash Results In Momentary Panic Over The Pink Jersey's Whereabouts 05/08/2012 - NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead 05/08/2012 - Jamie Moyer Has The Oldest Grudges In Major League Baseball, Too 05/08/2012 - The Dodgers Have The "Worst Fans In Baseball," Says Giants Beat Writer 05/08/2012 - Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever 05/08/2012 - The First Jose Canseco Joke Known To Mankind 05/08/2012 - Vin Scully Raced Jackie Robinson On Ice Skates 05/08/2012 - Yu Darvish Is A Flamethrower On The Mound, Needs To Light A Match In The Dugout 05/08/2012 - Source: Sarah Phillips Steered Business To A Bookie Who Was Probably Nilesh Prasad 05/08/2012 - Adam Jones Reaches For Home Run, Gets Glove Stuck In Wall 05/08/2012 - Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012 05/08/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Have Love 05/07/2012 - Australian Broadcaster Tries To Explain On-Camera Blowjob Gesture With Ridiculous Excuse 05/07/2012 - RIP Adam Yauch, Indie Film Hero 05/07/2012 - "Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]05/07/2012 - 55-Year-Old Grandmother Tries Out For The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 05/07/2012 - Do You Know Any More About Patrick Kane's Drunken Saturday In Wisconsin?05/07/2012 - What If Every Pitcher In Baseball Were Mariano Rivera?05/07/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Jim Reynolds 05/07/2012 - A Reader Reports: The Real Loser Of The Orioles-Red Sox Marathon Was MLB.tv 05/07/2012 - "We Talkin' ’Bout Practice": Allen Iverson's Famous Rant Was 10 Years Ago Today 05/07/2012 - Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken 05/07/2012 - Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start 05/07/2012 - Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]05/07/2012 - Chris Davis Is A Better Closer Than Heath Bell 05/07/2012 - Here's Warren Buffett Swinging A Ridiculous, Supersize Ping-Pong Paddle 05/07/2012 - The Story Of The 40 Phillies Fans Who Took A Bus To Nationals Park (And The 38 Who Returned)05/07/2012 - Editor's Note: Jonny Gomes Is Awesome 05/07/2012 - Kerry Wood's 20-Strikeout Game Was More Impressive Than Either By Roger Clemens 05/07/2012 - Ducks Captain Ryan Getzlaf Apparently Challenged A Nightclub Full Of Finns To A Fight 05/07/2012 - Olympic Officials Ban Outside Bottled Water, Will Confiscate Any "Excessive Food"05/07/2012 - In The Realm Of Gambling Message Boards, Anyone Could Be The Next Sarah Phillips 05/07/2012 - Nats GM Says "Fake-Tough" Cole Hamels "Doesn't Know Who He's Dealing With"05/07/2012 - Police Identify Kentucky Derby Murder Victim, Believe He Was Killed After "Altercation"05/07/2012 - Fans Are Not Permitted In The Fountains At Kauffman Stadium. This Fan Did Not Care.05/07/2012 - "Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"05/07/2012 - Cole Hamels Says He Threw At Bryce Harper 05/07/2012 - And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]05/07/2012 - Now Bryce Harper Has Started Stealing Home 05/06/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Walk Endless 05/06/2012 - Albert Pujols Finally Hits Home Run, Is The Nicest Human Being In The World 05/06/2012 - Here Is A Drawing Of A George Brett-Faced Half Man-Half Unicorn Creature 05/06/2012 - Former New York Yankee Great Jim Leyritz Will Be At A Penn Station Bookstore Next Thursday 05/06/2012 - Amar'e Stoudemire To Start For Knicks In Game 4 Against Miami Heat 05/06/2012 - Is Jonny Gomes The Most Popular Baseball Player Ever?05/06/2012 - Mark Grace Helpfully Used The Telestrator To Inform Diamondbacks Fans About Technical Difficulties 05/06/2012 - Your Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/06/2012 - Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]05/06/2012 - Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?05/06/2012 - Take This Sabbath Day: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions 05/06/2012 - Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis 05/06/2012 - Clint Dempsey's 50th Premiership Goal Was Fittingly Beautiful 05/05/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Shake And Sway 05/05/2012 - High School Students In New England Face Suspension From Team Activity For Racist Joel Ward Tweets 05/05/2012 - Reports: Wisconsin Running Back Montee Ball Arrested For Lamest Offense Ever 05/05/2012 - A Granada Player Hit The Ref In The Face WIth A Bottle Of Gatorade After Today's Match Against Real Madrid 05/05/2012 - "I Was The First Man On The Moon": Pete Rose Still Lying About Things On Autographed Baseballs 05/05/2012 - Sean Payton Seems To Be Enjoying His League-Mandated Free Time 05/05/2012 - Is The Jerry Sandusky Victim List Growing?05/05/2012 - Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord 05/05/2012 - Cyndi Lauper Is Still Alive, Cursing Like A Sailor At Kentucky Derby Event 05/05/2012 - JaVale McGee's Mom Does Not Approve Of You Fouling Her Son 05/05/2012 - Hawk Harrelson Went Silent For 63 Seconds After Jhonny Peralta's Walk-Off Home Run Beat The White Sox Last Night 05/05/2012 - This 10-Year-Old Girl Can Squat More Than A Woman Four Times Her Age 05/05/2012 - Ohio State Loses Star Recruit Because Of Convicted Sex Offender Charles Eric Waugh 05/05/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: MCA, RIP 05/04/2012 - Pete Carroll On Junior Seau's Life After Football: "He Wanted To Play Forever"05/04/2012 - Amar'e Stoudemire Shows Why You Should Never, Ever Punch A Fire Extinguisher Case 05/04/2012 - The Official Deadspin Youth T-Ball League Opened The Season By Picking Dandelions 05/04/2012 - The Junior Seau 911 Call Is Harrowing 05/04/2012 - Dead Letters: "I Didn't Know Deadspin Was In The Business Of Being The Moral High Ground Bullshit Decider"05/04/2012 - University Of Texas Student Gets Hit By Bus, Survives 05/04/2012 - Getting Lost While Drunk Is The Best Way To Get Lost 05/04/2012 - Someone Just Paid $418K For The Bill Buckner World Series Ball 05/04/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Eric Cooper 05/04/2012 - Phil Mushnick Wrote Something Racist In The <em>New York Post</em>05/04/2012 - Ohio State Warns Athletes About Superfan Who's A Convicted Sex Offender 05/04/2012 - <em>The New York Times</em> Asks: Is This When LeBron Finally Beats The Knicks?05/04/2012 - Junior Seau's Family Will Donate His Brain For Scientific Study 05/04/2012 - How Not To Write A Cover Letter 05/04/2012 - Texas Continued: How Mike Leach May Have Inspired The New <em>Friday Night Lights</em> Movie 05/04/2012 - Jeff Francoeur Tossed Royals Fans A $100 Bill With A Note That Read, "Buy Some Beer On Me"05/04/2012 - The Perfect Comic-Book Movie. <em>The Avengers</em>, Reviewed.05/04/2012 - How The Red Sox Goose The Numbers To Maintain Their Sellout Streak 05/04/2012 - Every U.S. Sports Championship, In Convenient Infographic Form 05/04/2012 - Rick Carlisle Was In A Very Bad Place Last Night 05/04/2012 - ESPN VP On Hockey Fandom: "It Doesn't Translate To Television"05/04/2012 - How Bill Simmons Gambled Away His NBA MVP Vote 05/04/2012 - LeBron James Can't Believe What Happened To Marc Gasol 05/04/2012 - These Craigslist Posts That "Predict" Junior Seau's Death Are (Probably) A Sick Hoax 05/04/2012 - Mariano Rivera Diagnosed With Torn ACL, Out For The Season 05/04/2012 - Gregor Blanco Fall Down, Go Boom, Still Makes It To Third Base 05/04/2012 - This Incredible Paralympics Commercial Was Shot In One Take With No Special Effects 05/03/2012 - Mariano Rivera Had To Be Carted Off The Field With A Possible Knee Injury Sustained During Batting Practice 05/03/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Ram Jam 05/03/2012 - Jered Weaver Had A Pretty Generous Strike Zone During His No-Hitter 05/03/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Tim Timmons 05/03/2012 - Jay Cutler And His Little Dog Have A Message For Everybody Out There 05/03/2012 - What Movies From the '90s Will Critics Include In <em>Sight & Sound</em>'s Top 10 (AKA The Only Poll That Matters)?05/03/2012 - This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch 05/03/2012 - BYU Runner's Epic Steeplechase Fail Is Even Funnier In A Frame-By-Frame Photo Gallery 05/03/2012 - Fredy Montero's Long-Range Strike Is A Worthy Response To Yesterday's Cissé Golazo 05/03/2012 - Grandpa Was A Baller: The Weird, Wonderful Tales Of An Early NBA Player, Who Happens To Be My Grandfather 05/03/2012 - Jered Weaver Peed On Superstition During His No-Hitter 05/03/2012 - Jozy Altidore Knocked Unconscious, Suffers Back Injury In Scary Sideline Crash 05/03/2012 - Wake Forest And Elon Baseball Players Staged A "National Anthem Standoff"05/03/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Angel Hernandez 05/03/2012 - Howard Schultz Gave Out $3.50 Starbucks Gift Cards: An Insider's Notes On The Shabby Death Of The Seattle SuperSonics 05/03/2012 - There Was An Extra Tool In Today's Braves Tool Race, And This One Got Arrested [UPDATE]05/03/2012 - A Grizzlies-Garbed Jerry "The King" Lawler Gave A "Clippers Fan" A Piledriver Last Night 05/03/2012 - Meet Nilesh Prasad, Sarah Phillips's Scamming Partner And Supposed "Puppetmaster" [UPDATE]05/03/2012 - Brian McCann Hit A Grand Slam Off Roy Halladay, Got Bopped In The Face By A Teammate As Reward 05/03/2012 - Yesterday MSNBC Reported Tragic News On The Death Of... Jonathan Vilma?05/03/2012 - Notre Dame QB Tommy Rees Allegedly Kneed A Cop In The Stomach And Had To Be Pepper Sprayed 05/03/2012 - What Does The New Beach Volleyball Dress Code Have To Do With Sharia Law?05/03/2012 - Report: Terrell Suggs Tears His Achilles Playing Basketball, Will "Likely" Miss 2012 Season [UPDATE]05/03/2012 - If You're In New York Tonight, Come Listen To Sportswriters Talk Dogs, Kids, And Fandom 05/03/2012 - The Night Junior Seau Picked Up A Marine Captain's Tab And Serenaded Bar Patrons With A Ukulele 05/03/2012 - Todd McShay's Mock Drafts Have Beaten Mike Mayock's And Mel Kiper's Four Years In A Row 05/03/2012 - A Grizzlies Fan Put His Fingers Where They Don't Belong On Marc Gasol 05/03/2012 - Matt Hendricks's Hit On Ryan McDonagh Was Playoff Hockey At Its Best 05/02/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Another Tricky Day 05/02/2012 - Red Sox Sign Mark Prior, Ready To Party Like It's 2003 05/02/2012 - Mike Krzyzewski Says The U.S. Olympic Basketball Team Doesn't Make Roster Cuts When It Makes Roster Cuts 05/02/2012 - Tim Welke Demonstrated Why "The Human Element" Is A Pathetic Joke 05/02/2012 - Andy Pettitte Does A Frankie Five Angels At The Roger Clemens Trial [UPDATE]05/02/2012 - The Worst Summer Movies: The Ones Your Mom Will Like 05/02/2012 - Papiss Cissé Enters His Bid For Premiership Goal Of The Season 05/02/2012 - Another Sarah Phillips Scam: "I'm A Writer For ESPN And I Have A Plan To Take Over The World"05/02/2012 - An Italian Soccer Manager Punched His Own Player In The Face During The Match 05/02/2012 - Holy Crap, Jeremy Affeldt's Son Is Huge 05/02/2012 - Sarah Phillips-Erik Miller Chat Transcript 05/02/2012 - Iowa Girl Takes Life-Sized Cardboard Cutout Of Tim Tebow To Prom 05/02/2012 - Fabrice Muamba Returned To Reebok Stadium For Today's Bolton-Tottenham Match 05/02/2012 - Sources: Sarah Phillips And Nilesh Prasad Picked Games Together, Scammed People Together, Got Fired From T-Mobile Together 05/02/2012 - Tampa Bay Bucs Sign Paralyzed Former Rutgers Player In Goodwill Gesture 05/02/2012 - Former NFL Linebacker Junior Seau Found Dead, Suicide Suspected [UPDATE]05/02/2012 - History Is Bunk, When The <em>New York Times</em> Writes It About The Yankees 05/02/2012 - The NFL Suspended Some Of The Saints Defense For 2012, But, On The Bright Side, They Weren't Good Anyway 05/02/2012 - Most NFL Players Aren't Happy With The Latest Saints Suspensions, Surprising Nobody 05/02/2012 - Today's Lesson In Sportsmanship Comes From The Islamic Republic of Iran 05/02/2012 - Bryce Harper Shows Off His Arm Cannon, Gets Screwed By Umpire 05/02/2012 - Report: Half Of Amar'e Stoudemire's Hand Was Just "Hanging Off"05/02/2012 - Give Yourself One More Reason To Watch Baseball 05/02/2012 - Joakim Noah, Ankle-Breaking Point Man 05/02/2012 - America's Shaquilles Are Coming Of Age 05/02/2012 - Lacrosse Player Throws Sucker Punch After Being Ejected For Throwing Other Punch 05/02/2012 - Alejandro De Aza Doubles On An Infield Pop-Up 05/02/2012 - Flyers Columnist Claims Continent-Wide Conspiracy Against The Flyers, Screws Up Fact That Undermines Entire Argument 05/02/2012 - Haughty Dipshit Gregg Easterbrook Makes Us Ask: What <em>Is</em> A Glory Boy?05/02/2012 - Joe Cowley Put On "Final Notice" After His Sexist Twitter Tirade 05/02/2012 - Atlanta Hawks Fans Are Not The Most Welcoming 05/02/2012 - You Can Lead A Baseball Fan In A Horse Mask To Beer, But You Can't Make Him Drink It 05/02/2012 - Fake John Madden Clarifies His Role In The Sarah Phillips/ESPN Debacle 05/02/2012 - Sarah Phillips Admits She "Concealed" Her Identity, Made "Poor Choices With Who To Trust" [UPDATE]05/02/2012 - Eyewitness: Being At The Yankees-Red Sox Lady-Fan Fight Was "Kind Of Like Watching A Train Wreck"05/02/2012 - Omar Vizquel Was Ejected From A Game In Which He Wasn't Even Playing 05/01/2012 - Deadspin Up All Night: Hey Hey 05/01/2012 - Eric Mangini Still Regrets His Involvement In That Whole Spygate Business, Still Hedges On Whether He Snitched 05/01/2012 - John Smoltz Crashes A Go-Kart? John Smoltz Crashes A Go-Kart.05/01/2012 - Aaron Rodgers Will Get Around To Hosting <i>Saturday Night Live</i> One Of These Days 05/01/2012 - Bristolmetrics: <i>SportsCenter</i> Might Actually Have Under-Covered The NFL Draft 05/01/2012 - Navin Prasad Chat Transcript 05/01/2012 - Is An ESPN Columnist Scamming People On The Internet? 05/01/2012 - Joss Whedon: Revenge Of The Nerd 05/01/2012 - Joe Cowley Has Been "Reprimanded Appropriately," Reports Paper That's Not The <i>Sun-Times</i>05/01/2012 - This Guy Bet On The Clippers When They Were Down Big And Turned $75 Into $41,000 05/01/2012 - Better Know An Umpire: Ron Kulpa 05/01/2012 - Look, It's The Worst Sports Card Of All Time!05/01/2012 - Did Hideki Matsui Really Watch 55,000 Adult Videos?05/01/2012 - Latin American MLB Prospects Conceal Their Ages By Swapping Entire Families 05/01/2012 - Running Into A Steeplechase Barrier Looks Just As Funny As You Might Imagine 05/01/2012 - Charles Barkley, Emmy Award Winner 05/01/2012 - Gross Photo Evidence You Don't Want To Be A Hockey Player 05/01/2012 - Was Amar'e Stoudemire's Hand Injury Caused By The Compressed Season?05/01/2012 - Padres Fan With Arm In Sling Catches Foul Ball With Other Hand 05/01/2012 - Roberto Mancini Told Sir Alex Ferguson To Shaddap You Face 05/01/2012 - Rick Carlisle's "Dirty Bullshit Has Got To Stop" Led To An <em>Inside The NBA</em> Discussion Of Profanity In Popular Music 05/01/2012 - Bryce Harper Played Softball Near The Washington Monument On His Day Off 05/01/2012 - Amar'e Stoudemire Injures Hand In Alleged Fight With Locker Room Fire Extinguisher [UPDATE]

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